Through my eyes, why it implies, where my truth lies, from sleepless cries

So before I tell you how it all started, let me show you how I see the world how it to me is shown, and let me take a moment of your time and postpone, to see the life I see and to go on to know how it came to be, see I never knew a life out there was better than what I was deprived of, I lived a life I knew and that’s the life I comparted, I was always beaten and kicked down to dirt and stomped on, but I knew that, as life, nothing more or less than daily life, and I never knew there was normality in not being frowned upon, see the world we live in today is much different than what I lived through as a child every day for a long time, but look where I am today and where I am to stay, I am a voice in your head through the words written, and I’m telling a story of what my life has given, and it made me who I am in this very day today, here as I write, and still here as you read, because my life’s memory will be right here to stay, so I am remembered much further and longer into history even after I am long far gone, but here where I am in time and space as I write, my voice still has a face to vocalize and see through my eyes to realize all the lies, and I speak on in this in many ways to portray exactly what my words say and what it implies, and I see there is no need to compromise, just be humble and wise, there is no more need for war and sacrifice, so put down your guns and knives, and go home to your kids and wives, and live your lives, and live your own life to your own demise, and we will have prosperity and live in paradise. But man wants power, authority, rule, and they don’t care how many times they cause anarchy with their acts so cruel, because they just want to be on the highest stool.. But why do we stand back and act like “it is cool”. We are the ones who need another lesson in school, and learn how to stop being a fool, to learn a new tool to break that stool and show them that they are just a man like you and me and everyone else around to see, and exactly how they will always be, because that’s how we were made to be and that is how it is meant to be… There is no Destiny in Eternity if we can’t see the Mystery of how we are the ones who cause our own Misery. See, here the fight on white vs colour, black always feeling some kind of attack, and white just won’t admit to that, because “being white gives us the right, alright?!” I see how so many people think it’s okay to look down on others and show their might, and if they don’t listen in how they portray then they feel their smite, but then they wonder why these savages start to stand and fight, and we do need to fight, everyone, black and white, everything in between dark or light, doesn’t matter what we mean, when we don’t fight for our right, but don’t forget about humanity, and do what you do but do it right, because we need to stand together, as one people and fight through every day and every night just like a Noble Knight and stand for what is right, because being who we are is our human right, so instead of fighting each other lets fight for one another because everyone has seemed to lose their sight and visibility, the ability to visually have the agility for civility, to see reality and can’t see how visibly we are taken back into slavery, and who is ever going to save you or save me, if we cannot even save ourselves, we are just enslaving our self, to a bully system they call government, just because they hold authority for making and upholding the “Laws” we are made to abide, but that is exactly humanities very flaw, by going along for the ride, because we want to have it easy and go with the flow, so we don’t have the responsibility depended to show, that we don’t wish to know, so instead of living a life we choose to bestow, we just bow and let them show their authority right over us for evermore, and where ever we go, we place ourselves in their hands and submit to living on their land, now they change laws to what they convene in what they perceive, just because they have no respect for humanity, and are the furthest from it even considerably, and they don’t care how they impair and impure humanity with how they openly share how little we mean, yet people are still so blind to see, and believe the smooth talk and the lies that implies that our very own “government” is our biggest enemy… They have turned on us, following their own ideality, forgetting about the rest of the people who they are sworn to protect, because they would rather protect their own self-interest, and drain the entire economy wasting more money in one year we have made as a country in a whole decade, putting us in a deeper hole, and buried alive to decay, causing an absolute wreckage like a renegade on a rampage to destruct this very day and age, with pure destruction with a smooth talk of miscommunication, and absolutely no intention to give the people their attention. As long as it gets them another vacation then it is worth the fight for forcing a vaccination, and who cares what anyone else believes, because they call us the criminals for breaking the law, meanwhile they are the renegade who betrayed man their very own countrymen, and strayed from what was humane and went insane with pure insanity, because that’s the only thing that could be justified understandably, that would be understandable, because a people are only as good as their leader, so why do you expect to be held so far above everyone else for what you believe and what everyone else believes doesn’t matter a damn thing, because it’s not what you hear singing melodies in your head as your ears ring, because the song you clearly sing, is the one that puts you directly into the fiery ring, because we are made as we are, and we are who we are, and we are perfectly imperfect just as we already are. So why is your head so far in the thought of war just because you want to be better that what you simply are? Why do the weak fight to be heard and act like such sheep, wanting to have a voice and rights for equality and unity, and just wanting people to hear them when they say what they portray, but… They can speak of any group, race, or countrymen as a whole about how wrong they are and how awful they have been and how they deserve to have a voice just like everyone else, and they can point fingers and speak their voice all they want because it is their human right, but it’s okay to resume to assume in having assumptions and opinions about others, but,.. When one of them or more have an opinion about you suddenly that is not alright? Where is your bed where you lay your head to sleep at night, because I could swear your head is not on right, might be loose and not on tight… If you have the right to speak your mind about me, I have that same right to speak my thoughts about you, and so does everyone else in the world too, and that’s the only “fact” of yours that is true. Because we are in unity, we forgot about individuality, we are in equality, but who is me, what am I supposed to be, you only see me as a charity, because you only see directly, but life is infinity, and it’s up to us to know who we are definitively, so we can take ourselves and all life seriously, and see the world curiously and not so furiously. Because all this vicious atrocity has undefined humanity, and now what we show and what I see, is how we took off with so much velocity in curiosity that it flew us right past every prophecy… Look at the world from up above so high past the sky where no man can fly, and we will see how beautiful with purity the world beneath is made to be, so blue and so green and so many beautiful sights to see and take in, and just be so thankful for the world we live in… But down here, and there, no matter where and anywhere and everywhere, we see darkness as we stare and glare, with no despair for who really does care, because we don’t care dare to share a life we won’t bare to spare, because we live in a time and place, in the day and age when people don’t really care anymore, they just want more, so much more to adore, and they can’t even get up off the floor, yet they still think they look down on the rest of the world, but either or, just a poor-poor loser so sore, because you think you are more, than an insect on the floor, my life is not yours to deny, so if you want you can try, and I’ll show you exactly why, how our very vision for visual visibility, in the men and women like me, who have been through a rough and tough life, turns so blood red with no despair, and if you push us there, if you truly dare, we will show you what is truly unfair, how you make us feel and bare,..

Now, to tell you how it all started, what gave me my crown, is how no matter what my life threw my way, there was one thing I would never betray, after all the pain I overcame, my heart was never slain, and it never departed, because I have always been known to be big hearted, even though so many times life would show, that I was never going to grow past the dirt that I was thrown, and stomped in and stained on my shirt, but no matter how much I hurt or how many times they knocked me down to the dirt, I still kept standing back up to take that hit again, and kept standing up over and over again,.. And that, is my gain, that is the power I have always had and that’s the power I obtain, that is why my heart has never been slain, because I grew up in a world far-far away, a Caribbean country right in the jungles of Belize, and no one ever really believes, but I know what’s real and I know what it has made me, and what I am capable of doing, because of my home where I was raised and made to be. You See, I grew up a half blood, in a village where I was hated from both sides, just another bastard in their eyes. Part Mayan, the rest half German and half Spanish; I was just as poor just as all the other kids were, didn’t have any running water or electricity in our house for the first 5 years of my life, until my mother got married, to a white man, a German. And see, there compared to here, you could say to adhere, that there, doesn’t quite compare, because here was where, White was the Black. And I was half of each, none of both, never saw me as anything else but a loser with a bright red target on my back,.. Just for who I was, because of the blood that pumped through every last vein, something I could never control or maintain, it was something preordained that I don’t get to choose to pertain… But in all struggles, getting through each time was always a gain to obtain, especially as I walked a mile to school through the jungle from 5 years old, because it made me real bold, but never made me cold, because I was fortaught and told, and shown with what I bestowed, a strength to survive as the survivor in me, will always thrive and stay alive, because I learned things in survival playing in that jungle that take away all struggle, I am a teddy bear so rare with love and care I wear and bare, and dare to share, because I wear my heart on my sleeve, but… I am a beast none the least, and if I am ever released I will feast at the very least, because my life was three beatings a day, one from the kids, who tried killing me several times too, once pushing me over the river bank falling and landing right beside a crock, but I stood up stared that beast in the eyes as he swam away, another time I was thrown off a balcony and landed on my head, which should have and very easily could have left me dead, and my neck cracked, as they cheered and clapped, but I snapped back, and got right back up, right on my feet, ready for another defeat, but never ever to retreat. Because, I knew what happened when I fought back, and when I defended myself… My classmates, village kids like me, my teacher, a strict cultured Mennonite who had it in for me, he hated me, everything I was and what made me to be,.. See, he would watch as the kids circled around me, shoving me back and forth taking turns taking their shots and throwing me to the ground, but here is the thing, there was only so many I could humbly take, before they made their last mistake and now their life was in stake not mine, and I don’t complicate and I don’t hit to be fake, I hit, so it’s the last hit I make, because the anger that fuelled me with how they fooled and tooled me, and duelled with me, throwing me around like a rag doll, eventually when my face hit the ground for the last time, it would all change, when my vision turned red and my wisdom went to bed, everything would shake, when the world around would start to rumble the ground around just like an earthquake, the way I stood up for the last time for that day, and that was the last of the state I stated and raised the stakes, because with all that rage one hit was all it takes, but… The second I pushed back, there I hear that familiar sound, the ground around shaking about suddenly stops, and I hear the shouts of that perverted man, who sat there watching all along, and did not say a word not a damn thing at all, when my nose was in the dirt over and over again, but suddenly, when my anger let loose, I was the one in the wrong… See, the kid’s beatings were nothing, I took so many before fighting back, because they didn’t feel the way I was about to feel. Noting to do with the physical pain I was about to feel for real, but the way it made my emotions feel, deep down, like I was worth nothing more than a stray dogs meal, what a harsh deal, as I’d hear the shutters on all the windows close, one, by, one, SHUT,,,, SHUT,,,,, Shut,,,, Shut,,,,…. As I hear those footsteps come closer and closer till I feel the breath and smell the stench of death right beside my neck, and he said, pull down your pans sinner, for you have sinned, and you have shamed god, as he pulled the old stringy rope out of the bucket of water with salt, saying that I was a product of sin and it was all my fault, for bringing sin in, that classroom of darkness that I was in, and said in the name of the father the spirit and the holy god, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, SLAP, then he would tell me again, that I was a product of sin, and a shame on his name, once more SLAP, SLAP, then he would sit me up, the salt from the rope stinging my butt cheeks, burning and sizzling like it is as hot as a pot flaming with how it felt scorching aflame, with the fiery blaze flaring with the ignited roaring flame, felt through the embarrassment and shame all the same, as I tried to hold in my pain because I did not want this man to see me weak or in pain, so I stood tall, just like this, at least twice a week, when I felt the lash from his whip, but even worse,.. Was the pain I was yet to feel, when I get home, another pain that was I would then get to feel, and pain so real, when my parents would spank my already sore behind once again, all because “the teacher called” and said “I started a fight in school”, as I pleaded , “NO… NO! It, It,.. It wasn’t me” as I cried and cried as I swore “It was the other boys, they beat me up because I had a cake in my lunch”. And that made it worse, 3 extra for the lie I just told, “Yesterday it was because they didn’t want you on either team, the day before was because they didn’t want you to sit in between, and every time the excuse gets crazier it seems” they would say “it breaks my heart that you have to lie to me, that’s not the boy I raised you to be” as I was told with tears in their eyes, that my lies, were worth another 3. SPANK, SPANK, SPANK… See at home, I cried, at school I didn’t. But at school it hurt physically, and home it didn’t… At home it affected me emotionally, because the belt or the hangar, or how ever it was dealt, didn’t compare to the saltwater drenched rope and the fists of those dumb boys. But not being believed in my truth by my own parents, seeing how they believed that monster of a man instead of me, telling me how disappointed they were in me for lying, and for making up stories, was why I really grieved. And why the softness and most painless part of the day physically, hurt me so much more than anything else I could have come up with in my imaginary story… Didn’t take long before I started throwing my lunches out on my way to school, and I stayed to myself, made sure I was never early, just on time so the bell when it rang, would save me, and I always made an excuse to use to stay back before leaving the property, so that those boys wouldn’t hurt me. But still they waited for me… But they didn’t really know me, an what I was capable of doing so capably… Because from only 5 years old I was already shooting birds out of the sky with a Benjamin air rifle, I had survived my first attack from a wild dog, killing it with my bare hands, and since even before, from just only 4, I chased snakes into the bushes and killed them for fun, I knew how to take life, and I didn’t fear a thing, was never scared of anything, and that, that is why I would never fight… Because a bully is just a bully, but a beast, does not bully, a beast doesn’t fight someone to hurt them, a beast doesn’t punch and punch and punch like a wussy boy who can’t throw a punch, a beast throws one punch enough, and makes sure to be done and through in just one punch so rough, it would shatter their tough, because a beast doesn’t hit to defend, but to defeat, a beast hits so they can never hit again… And so, to the enemies of the past, I say this saving it for last, you have unleashed the beast and it’s time to feast at the very least, and I am released, and you are just the blast from the past that won’t last, just a pest, so I put you to rest, the enemies of the past… The past doesn’t last, it has passed, but a beast released is unleashed, so don’t be his feast, at the very least.

Peace to the Beast

I did not bow to a boy or man then, and I will not bow to “the man” now. Especially not now, what a joke to that vow, the vow they took and vowed, to protect and uphold, what they have now so easily bought or sold, and traded and treated us like a test getting graded, and we are just a pawn in his game getting desecrated. Don’t you see? Can’t you relate to what has easily been showed and related? This is why leadership can get so hated, because of the vowed word they betrayed and continue to portray, that it is “their way, or the highway” nah…. It’s my way, there is no highway option. My god and father gave this earth to all of us people, not to one tiny pathetic man without a voice for the right choice… No man has any dominion power over another, no man can judge the life of another, there is only one judgement, and I can’t wait till he judges us… Because I have accepted my fate, and I know where I stand and who I am and don’t pretend to be anyone I’m not, and I stay true to my faith, and I am confident in his judgment being what is right, his desire is my purpose. Can you say the same? Because I am ready to burn up in flame in his name without shame, because I accept my wrongs. But do you too?? Or do you want to keep playing God like you own dominion over people until it is too late?

This is who I am, the darkness, the light, the colours of the darkness in the night, to the light shining through the lessons in the day, showing me why I was made from pain, just So I could be this very exact way. I am not a part of any religion or religious belief… I was raised a Christian, but don’t label me as that. I am not that. I am a son of God, a believer with faith, and that’s all you need to know about my fate. Don’t wait for yours until it is too late, don’t let life complicate your key for your entry through your own gate. Figuratively, speaking, eternity in perceiving the perception with perseverance in his connection with love and appreciation, but don’t take the wrong direction to his affection.. Want, and he will grant, but not your desires, the desires that he desires and truly requires, for a greater purpose. If you also learn to feel it for real and aspire. Look, and you shall See, ME

Poetry Written By:

PeoplesPoetryProject

PPP aka ~Troyce Reimer